Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
