ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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