Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
