he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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