So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
