if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
