Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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