we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
