My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
