He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
