People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
