if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
