You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
