i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
