you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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