I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
