A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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