You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
