Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
