We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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