come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
