whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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