I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My brain says no but my pants say off.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
