We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
don't judge my taste in strippers
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
