i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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