Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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