Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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