There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
