Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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