were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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