Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
