this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
