How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
should my penis look like a turkey
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
