You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I didn't shave. On purpose
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize