Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize