I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
