It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
