im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize