I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
