apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
