I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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