Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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