Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I love how my cats smell like pot.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize