A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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