do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
