I wish I could teleport
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
