i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He better not be in your backpack
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
