I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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