Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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