the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
