You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
