I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
