so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We are two peas in an std pod
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
