Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
