the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
