i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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