Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
