I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
