i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
