Umm I'm too high to move.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
