i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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