maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
