Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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