Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
