We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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