nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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