I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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